Falling away from summer
These days, my attention turns toward all things fall—my girls going back to school, me going back to the classroom at CSN, and the fall Issue of WriteRiders (check out past issues here). But there are a few very notable things that happened in the past couple of (hot and humid!) summer months that I want to touch on before embracing the foliage snapshots and Halloween costume shopping.
At the beginning of summer/end of spring, I continued to get familiar with the online writing community and the glimmer of in-person activities was on the horizon. I had dipped my toe into the pool of pitch parties, contests, etc. and was building my agent querying list, connecting with editors, and exploring small press opportunities…but I was also feeling like I’d plateaued a little with my writing.
I’d been at it in earnest for a couple of years by then. And while I was still getting new ideas—and still writing new drafts—my older drafts had sort of paused in revision purgatory. I’d received encouraging rejections from editors and crit notes from professionals, but it felt like my stories kept falling just short. I didn’t know what else to do with them or what revisions to focus on. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what (or if something) was missing.
Along came the PBChat mentorship…(Seriously, what an amazing opportunity and a generous Kidlit community we have! With special thanks to Justin Colón who dedicates so much attention and time!) This felt like the chance I’d was ready for—to ask questions and dig deeper. So, I applied with an ms that meant a lot to me to an author whose work resonated with me and whose style I respected immensely. (Risk #1.) In order for it to work, she had to pick my story as one she felt she could steward to publication-ready. It felt like a long shot.
Part of the beauty of the application process was that I had to detail my goals. All sorts of things float around in your head when you’re asked a question like that—most of the answers are so aspirational and fairy-tale you don’t dare utter them aloud, let alone write them down for others to see. (Risk #2.) But I did write them down and that alone was a valuable and necessary process. Then on May 31, to my gleeful surprise, I found out Rajani LaRocca picked my MY AMERICA.
It felt like winning the lotto.
And it felt a little like being worthy--something I didn’t totally admit I needed to feel. (Risk #3.)
Working with Rajani has been a joy. She has been approachable and warm, intuitive and knowledgeable, and an inspiring partner. I can’t say enough how much I’ve appreciated her support and guidance. She’s helped me find the courage to try new directions (Risks #4 – 537), and ultimately to trust my gut about what works and keep at it till I know I’ve created something that does. (Risk #538??)
I’m starting to put my finger on that elusive “it” in my writing. I’m starting to embrace my strengths with confidence, and I love revising again! The “no submissions during the mentorship” rule has given me a needed mental break from the frantic FOMO every creator experiences. Maybe we all need to impose these kinds of “rules” so we can feel free to create.
And I’ve continued to consider my goals in a concrete way. (I highly recommend the mind exercise of “what do I want today? this week? next month? next year? etc. as a way to see what you’re doing and need to be doing in a different way.) Up till now these desires and ideas swam around my head and popped up only when they needed air. I avoided giving my goals words and metrics. The PBChat mentorship has helped me find the ways to measure that matter to me.
Which brings me back to fall…my co-editor Sarah Elliott and I have decided on a spooky theme for the newsletter because, well, Halloween. But also because creating is scary. Maybe talking about scary makes it less so.
The big takeaway for me? Keep at it. Keep seeking growth—I can only do that if I take risks.